[:en]*This subject is very important, especially for sensitive people, healers and similar.
So, what is the main catch?????
The main issue here is that those people who are toxic do not need to be only people who are negative and acting badly. This is common and you can easily recognize them anyway. The problem comes with people that do not have that label of toxic person on the forehead.
Selfish and egoistic people are those who are hard to recognize as TOXIC.
And if you are a giver, a nurturer, a healer you can easily attract those who are like that. It’s like the key and the lock – fit really well. You like to give and they like to take!
Healers also attract a huge number of sick people, people who are out of balance because they also sense that healing energy and they are unconsciously attracted to it. So, maybe your closed friend or lover are toxic for you but you do not realize that?
Toxic people certainly doesn’t make you feeling better or energetic. They demolish our peace of mind and cause stress and dissonance. Normal people and especially sensitive ones are emotionally affected by their dramas. And here you are: stuck in a cycle of trying to rescue, fix or care for them.
How to know if you are dealing with a toxic person? Or, ARE YOU A TOXIC PERSON?
The toxic person characteristics:
• Always talk about themselves.
They are self-centered. It is always about them, their problems, their issues, their partners, their jobs, it is always what they want, think, feel, need…AND EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS DRAMATIC.
• They always need help – playing a victim.
They are constantly acting like little girls and boys even if they are adults. Acting like they can’t do anything alone or be alone. They always express the same line – “I do not know but you do, so please help me.” In this way they are doing double damage – because they are also playing on your sense of guilty.
• They always need a spotlight and public.
These people are always talking about how great they are. They need somebody, anybody to listen to them and to APPROVE them somehow. Always need somebody to ADMIRE them and do not stand a critique. They think highly about themselves and acting like they are fabulous.
• Do not take responsibility for their actions.
They always have some explanation for their behavior, and they do not understand consequences of their behavior. It is never them, and it is always somebody else that did something. If there is something to fix – they will buy you a PRESENT or GIFT and continue to do whatever they did.
• They are always hurt somehow.
Just listen to them – this is the greatest paradox. People who are walk on others constantly, they are never for a minute considering that maybe they hurt somebody. No, again it is always about them.
• They constantly are taking and not giving anything – not a nice word, not a fun, not support, understanding, nothing. They explain that they simply do not know how to help you and that you are much better than he/she is.
• Could be promiscuities since they are just looking them to be nice and fulfil only their needs. In this case they do not have any selection or boundaries.
• Do not see others at all.
They are acting like other people do not exist, and so if somebody does not exist then that person could not be hurt, simple as that. No hurt, no responsibilities, no guilty.
• Do not see clearly and have distorted perspective of reality.
EGO is a liar, and it convinces you that you are the right and everybody else is not, that people are hurting you and you are so nice, that you are the greatest and the others are just grain of a sand. This involves some type of exclusiveness also.
• Very possessive.
They do not want that you have time for anybody else. They will try to tie you around them. And if you are a healer, they would be acting like you are only their personal healer. If you are a teacher, they are acting like you are not here for the whole world but just for them!
• They are manipulative and controlling
They like to control everything and to manipulate all in order to achieve their goals. They do not see it like that but like being very persistent, hard worker and successful person.
• Always have perception that their life is the hardest and that nobody else has survived and experienced something similar.
This is very distorted, because it is so no true! There are so many people on the world, and many of them share similar experiences and there are so many great people out there, who are everyday heroes. Just look around. Toxic people always think they are the only one experiencing something and nobody understands them.
• They talk something which looks like wisdom but they do not understand it at all.
They are SUPERFICIAL and if you just ask them a few questions to explain better or to give you better understanding they get nervous and leave you without answer.
• They usually know a lot of people, but nobody truly and have no real friends. Egoistic people are unable to create true healthy bonds with other people. True relationships require equal amounts of giving and taking which they are unable to provide.
• They keep disappointing you. Since they are not willing to change (even if they claim that they did, it is just their illusion) they keep acting in the same way constantly making a mess all over.
See, this is very hard to catch on everyday level. Toxic people do not enter our lives presenting themselves like “Hi, I am toxic person and will take everything from you.” No, they don’t. They are very seductive and interesting usually, but with all mentioned above you can now pay attention to those highlights and be aware of them.
If you are by reading this, just realized that one of your people are toxic cut that tie as soon as possible. They will go for you even harder, but this is something that must be done.
There is no being in the Universe, no angels and God who will help you and “save” you if you do not know how to say NO. They will respect this due to free will.
So, this is your responsibility to say NO.
The huge lesson in life is knowing to say “no” to toxic people, toxic friendships, relationships, toxic experiences.
So, let’s try for one time – saying gently but firmly NO to toxic people and set your boundaries.
Be firm and determined to live better life.
The world is full of people who will respect you, love you and be there for you, be supportive and nurturing in the same amount you provide for them.
There must be a balance between giving and taking, and we need to establish it for ourselves.
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